Wellness

Stop Letting Social Media Crush Your Confidence

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These photos were taken 2 minutes apart… Posed & flexed vs Unposed & relaxed. Fit, happy, healthy in both pictures. 

We are ALLL guilty of doing this right?Scrolling through social media, whether it be instagram, facebook, even snap chat, twitter, whatever it is, and comparing ourselves to the women we see on there. The women who look super fit, super skinny, toned flat abs, lean legs, perfect rounded butt with literally no flaws and thinking to ourselves….. WHY CAN’T I LOOK LIKE THAT. Even though you feel good, you eat well, you exercise regularly and you still pick yourself apart, destroy your own confidence, and get mad at yourself because you don’t look like a social media model.

Well…the truth is those girls don’t even look like themselves. Thats really not how they look everyday all day anyways. Those girls you compare yourself to on the daily who are posing in the mirror or in front of the camera are doing just that. POSING. Thats not how they walk around and look like all the time. They either have great lighting, their posing, their pants are high waisted covering their tummy and creating a smaller waist (like my picture above), their flexing so they look more lean and muscular, pushing out their butts and leaning forward making legs look small. Everyone can do it, I post pictures of myself on instagram doing the same thing, but uhhhhh its not a realistic image of me on a regular day just chilling.

Its honestly all in the angle and the pose, if I’m relaxed, not flexing or posing, the above picture on the right is way more accurate on how I normally look, NOT the picture on the left. My butt isn’t always looking up to par, yes it looks like I have love handles, I have rolls, I have cellulite, I get bloated some days, I don’t always look like I have a flat tummy, I’M HUMAN. A lot of those women you see on social media posing, flexing, looking smaller with no flaws…. have days where they look bloated, have rolls when they sit, have cellulite, have love handles, you just don’t see it cause they don’t show the world that side of them. Which is totally okay but its not always reality.

I used to be so guilty of just mindlessly scrolling through instagram comparing myself to all of the other girls who looked more fit and skinny then me, then tear down my confidence and self-esteem. Then I would restrict my calories and go harder in the gym as punishment so I could look a certain way making my health & fitness journey not about health at all. I legitimately thought that they looked like that 24/7. Even today, I’m STILL guilty of comparing myself to girls I see on instagram once in a while. Its a normal thing to do you just have to step back, and remind yourself that it isn’t realistic and you are beautiful just the way you are. I was feeling this way not too long ago and have been very guilty of comparing myself to other girls lately. But enough is enough which is why I felt the need to do a blog post on the topic so you guys can see how much a pose and the right lighting can change the way you look. It honestly looks like I lost 5-10 pounds in the picture above, but nope! Just taken two minutes apart, same weight, healthy in both pictures, just a different angle.

I went literally years and years throughout high school being SO hard on myself because I’m not built skinny. I have a muscular frame, I have broader shoulders and bigger arms, my legs and butt have always been more muscular as well. I played a shit load of school sports, years of competitive gymnastics, I was always active so I was very healthy, but I was still SO hard on myself. Only because I compared myself to other girls who had a smaller frame then me. Instead of actually embracing some of my curves and muscular features.

Honestly if your healthy, you feel strong and confident, you feel good mentally and physically, you eat right, you exercise regularly, why should you let other girls on social media bring you down? EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way, EVERY body is built and shaped differently, thats what makes you unique and special. Why would you want to be like somebody else when you are your own, different, beautiful person with special, unique qualities? OWN THAT SHIT GIRL!

Like even posting this type of picture…something I never would’ve even thought of doing a while back because I was so insecure and worried that people would think I’m not that fit or thin as I appear to be on my social media. But now I’ve learned to love myself so hard that I don’t give two shits about what others think of me. I work hard and I know that I’m fit and healthy so who flipping cares. I want you to learn the same thing and embrace all parts of you!

Yes you will have bad days, where you feel large and bloated, don’t wanna be in anything but a baggy sweater and sweats, want a pint of ice-cream with fries dipped into it, or eat a whole bag of chips to yourself, WHATEVER. Those days frikon happen, embrace those days too and then the next day, don’t compare, don’t beat yourself up, just move on. Get back on track and accept that those days happen cause they do, and its all part of life and makes you who you are.

FYI, this isn’t to criticize fitness, insta models at all, like I said everyones beautiful and different in their own way, I just want to shed some light on the reality of a lot of pictures you see that cause a lot of girls to rip themselves apart. I post posed pictures on instagram a lot because its fun to flex and make yourself look fit and bomb. BUT just a reminder that you look amazing and bomb not posing like that, and that its human and normal to not walk around lookin’ extra lean with a 6 pack. Embrace all angles and shapes of your body, be proud of what it can do for you and nourish it, be kind to it and love it.

Love yourself today friends!

xoxo

Raquel

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20 Comments

  1. Ridge, Jennifer says:

    Love your blog. You are always so real!

    Sent from my iPhone

    1. Aw thanks so much Jen! 🙂

  2. You’re so right! It’s time to get over the comparison game and just be ourselves! We’re each uniquely perfect!

    1. Yesss girl!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 My point exactly!

  3. I think you hit the nail on the head! As women, we especially get bogged down with having to look the part, have the perfect body, etc and social media is enough to give ANYBODY a complex! I commend you for putting yourself out there and you look great either way — most people couldn’t say that about themselves! Kudos!

    1. Totally! Its so easy to compare ourselves to other women we see on social media and set unrealistic expectations instead of embracing our own bodies! Thank you so much Kristi! 😊

  4. I also think if you compare yourself to others you could also unfollow people who trigger such negative emotions. But it’s best to remember people will show their best on IG.

    1. Your totally right Marette. That’s a really good strategy as well and I have actually unfollowed a few accounts that trigger bad emotions on myself. Although I do find it beneficial to face fears and negative emotions in order to heal, instead of run from them. Thanks Marette!

  5. Wow, this is so good! Sometimes I have to get off the gram altogether!

    1. Thank you so much! Definitely feels good to take a social media break from time to time

  6. lacyngo says:

    This is a beautiful post, and you look beautiful and healthy in both pictures <3. This recently happened to me. I had two pictures taken in the same month, and I looked 50 pounds heavier in one picture. It is amazing how deceiving a picture can be.

    1. Aw thank you so much for saying that! That’s so sweet 😊

  7. Tia @littlemisslionheart.com says:

    We all need to remember not to compare our *real* lives and bodies to the *airbrushed* and *carefully coiffed* Social media “lives” we see online. It’s a set up.

    1. So true! I totally agree with you

  8. ehdesignmn says:

    Good for you! It’s great that you have this mindset!

    1. Thank you!! Took a while to get to this point but worth it 🙌🏻

  9. Social media can certainly be either a curse or a blessing, depending on how you use it – and perhaps, how you let IT use YOU! Personally, I think you look fit and muscular either way – and in the past, I have tended to be the same way myself (my Dad lovingly used to say I just had “big bones”), playing sports and working out at the gym. I’m also short (5’2″), so even if I was thinner and had a tiny waist, I might still appear “stocky” as opposed to slim.

    1. Yes totally! I love social media it’s just important to keep in mind what’s reality and what’s not. Healthy is defined as much more then just our weight!

  10. So true! It’s nice to be reminded of this though. Thank you!

    1. Of course! Happy you enjoyed it 😊

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